Commitment Reflex

Someone asks if you can help with a project. If you're free for coffee. If you can review their work. If you can join the committee.

Scenario #1: You feel pressured to respond positively, immediately.

The reflex to commit on the spot is fear. Fear of disappointing someone. Fear of seeming unhelpful. Fear of losing the opportunity.

So you trade that small, temporary awkwardness for commitments that compound. For months—sometimes years—of your time, quietly spoken for by a decision you made in three seconds.

Scenario #2: You immediately say no.

The reflex to say no is also common, because taking the time to make a deliberate decision, well, takes time. But an automatic no closes doors just as carelessly as an automatic yes.

Practice this instead: "Let me check my calendar and get back to you."

Or simply: "I need to think about that."

Most people respect this more than an instant yes or an instant no. Because they've learned that instant yeses often become slow nos—or worse, resentful half-efforts.

A thoughtful yes or no respects both your time and theirs.